I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
