Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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