he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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