found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
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