she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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