Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
