READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
