HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
