yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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