weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
