I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We have started to decorate penises.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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