wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
