Having a random hookup so left but love u
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
