hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Randomize
