Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize
