Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
