His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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