Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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