have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
