god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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