pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
