taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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