Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
