Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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