Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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