so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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