so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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