Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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