I don't usually arrange sex via text message
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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