So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
3 2 1 whiskey
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
