Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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