I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
