Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
