I wanna passion pit in your ass
Michael Bay diarrhea
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Oh god it's open bar.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
