I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
