I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Screwed.edu
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
