I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
