is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
