I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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