"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
