Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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