Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize