Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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