she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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