I am in a vortex of obligation.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
