remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
