I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
