Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
