I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
