He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
