Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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