There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
