remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
